The Masks We Wear

Many of us wear a “mask” of some sorts nearly everyday.  We hide behind a carefully constructed facade, giving off a distinctly crafted vibe.  We scurry through our lives afraid that someone might pause long enough to realize that what they see is a trick of costumery. 

Each morning, I stand in front of my mirror and apply make-up.  I’m pretty low maintenance when it comes to make up, but still I often feel too exposed or too imperfect to start my day without applying some eyeliner or mascara.  Some days it feels like a mask, either hiding imperfections or helping me to blend into the crowd. Other days it feels like armor allowing me to face the day, ready for battle.

While many men have never stood in front of the mirror and carefully applied make-up to highlight some features and downplay others, they still have “masks” of their own.  For some it’s the car that they drive, or the designer clothing they wear. For others it’s an air of machismo or perhaps of indifference.  

Even kids, somewhere along the line, begin wearing “masks” in an effort to fit in or stand out.  It seems to happen somewhat gradually for kids, but as they grow up, they go from playing “make believe” where they dream up incredible scenarios that give them licenses to explore to hiding and molding into what they believe others want them to be.  They go from wearing the masks of princesses and superheroes which gives them the freedom to parade down the aisles of a grocery store, while their hired help (a.k.a parent) shops for sustenance, to wearing the masks of society. They no longer dream of saving the commoners from the evils of the world, instead they start wearing masks that make them blend in.  They become the cool kid, the geek, the jock, the mean girl in an effort to conform and define themselves.  

Most days, we don our masks in an effort to meet some strange societal expectations.  We also don the masks as a way to call attention away from certain characteristics that make us uniquely us.  We do it automatically, most of the time without even a second thought, because that is what we are conditioned to do.

In a way it seems that these expectations to hide ourselves or tone down our uniqueness are self-imposed.  Sure we might get a weird look or two if we walk into the office or classroom without perfectly coiffed hair or unlined eyes, but I wonder if those would be looks of admiration rather than judgement.

Not long ago we had people over to the house to help with an Army of Angels project.  My house was full of people that were all connected to me somehow, but not to each other.  It was the perfect opportunity for people to “put their best foot forward” and present a well crafted version of themselves to each other.  

Most everyone did that, but one friend came and exemplified a level of bravery that I’m still in admiration of weeks later.  She showed up toting extra supplies and the brightest of smiles, just like I’d expect. Except I was stunned to see that smile shining out even brighter because it wasn’t shining through layers of make-up.  This friend brought herself and her true natural glow. It was one of THE MOST BEAUTIFUL things I’ve ever seen.  

This friend walked into a room full of strangers and brought her authentic self.  She allowed people to get to know her for who she truly is, instead of what society expects her to be.  She radiated love and a level of caring that only she can bring. She is inspiring me to be brave – to be more authentically me – no matter what the situation and who I might be meeting.  

She made me wonder… what would happen if we took more chances and left our masks at home?  Who might we meet and find that we have more in common with than previously realized?

More importantly, what might I discover lying beneath the surface about myself?  Might I unearth the spirit of my younger self who longs to explore, who longs to embrace the ideals of child and take a risk discovering something I didn’t even know was there?

So I challenge myself and all of you – find a day to take off the mask and see what happens.  I think we’ll find those strange looks will actually be looks of surprise that immediately morph into admiration and appreciation.  Perhaps one shed mask at a time, we will discover our world is richer when we embrace who we are instead of always trying to blend in.