“Double R”
For the first few months after Rylie died, I’d often tell people that I was playing pretend. It was easy to pretend she was away at camp. It was easy to pretend she was spending the night with friends. I could make up all sorts of stories. As time...
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Sneak Attack from Ry
There are times that Rylie sneaks up on me unexpectedly. I love it when that happens, because I can pretend. I can picture the way that she would sneak up on me if she were still here. I have no doubt that she’d find ways to sneak quietly into...
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What I Didn’t See Coming – Christmas 2017
One of the first lessons you learn when grieving a loss, is to steel yourself for certain significant moments. You plan for the “big days” – like birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries of the death, etc. You learn quickly that the days leading up to the event are often harder than...
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Christmas Ornaments & The Stories They Tell
There’s an ornament on our tree that hangs front and center now. It’s a beautiful glass ornament with Rylie’s face shining through. Surrounding her, the lights of the tree twinkle through the glass and glimmer off the gold sequins that rest inside it. It’s the perfect ornament in so...
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Little Reminders & The “What ifs”
The week before Halloween, I found myself missing Rylie a little more than usual. It was a busy week, so I was more tired than usual. Lack of sleep always affects how I cope, but it was also just a week full of activities that Rylie would have enjoyed. ...
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Coffee… A Symbol of Support
Memories are triggered by so many things, but my sense of smell (while somewhat schizophrenic) is a strong trigger for me. Growing up I hated the smell of coffee. I immediately attributed it to being trapped in the car on a road trip with my parents! I use the...
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