Understanding Grace

Grace… As a lover of words, I take pride in the words that I choose and use. Grace is a word that, up until the last few years (yes, years not months), didn’t really live in my vocabulary. I’m not sure why, but it wasn’t a word that I...
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When Words Evade Me – Or Not

There was a time not so long ago that the words just seemed to pour themselves out on the page. They’d capture exactly how I was feeling with just a tweak or two. Lately, they evade me. I want to write – to capture this sense of disorientation –...
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A New First – First Day of School

There’s a point in our lives where we look forward to firsts. A child’s first word, first step, or first day of school. A first date. A first day at a new job. If we’re honest though, there’s times as parents that we look forward to lasts too. The...
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My calendar is filled with minutia. If you look at my appointments or my to do list, it looks like I’m very busy, but… So little of what is on my calendar and lists really matter. What matters is opportunities to connect. Not to say I’ve had dinner with...
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I Can’t Tell Myself…

Warning: This post is a little more of a downer, but I am trying to honor this process. Sometimes the best way to do that is through raw, honest emotion. As much as it is good for me to find rainbows at the end of a storm, sometimes there...
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Lessons from the Ocean

I’ve always known that it’s important to make memories and now that lesson has a new level of meaning. Memories of Rylie are her legacy to us. We wrap ourselves in memories of her – good and bad – daily. These memories have a tendency to wash over me...
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Coffee… A Symbol of Support

Memories are triggered by so many things, but my sense of smell (while somewhat schizophrenic) is a strong trigger for me. Growing up I hated the smell of coffee. I immediately attributed it to being trapped in the car on a road trip with my parents! I use the...
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Crazy Mom Turning Less Crazy

Months ago the scene below would have made me crazy – full on “Why can’t you leave my stuff alone?!?! I’ve been asking you for weeks where this is…” yelling, cabinet banging crazy. Yesterday, it made me smile. Rylie was notorious for making things disappear and stashing them in...
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The Ripple Effect

It hit me on July 3rd while watching Tanner skip stones on the beautiful, pristine waters of Blue Lake. The Ripple Effect. Tanner with the grace of a dancer and the arm of a ball player released stone after stone into the water. The rock would hit the surface,...
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Reality is Creeping In – Again…

For the last month we’ve lived in a pseudo-reality. We came home, but meals have been delivered every few days, plans were being laid for the celebration, friends and family were visiting. I will always consider ours a family of four, but now the reality of being three is...
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