Category: Grief / Loss of a child

A New First – First Day of School

There’s a point in our lives where we look forward to firsts. A child’s first word, first step, or first day of school. A first date. A first day at a new job. If we’re honest though, there’s times as parents that we look forward to lasts too. The...
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I Can’t Tell Myself…

Warning: This post is a little more of a downer, but I am trying to honor this process. Sometimes the best way to do that is through raw, honest emotion. As much as it is good for me to find rainbows at the end of a storm, sometimes there...
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Lessons from the Ocean

I’ve always known that it’s important to make memories and now that lesson has a new level of meaning. Memories of Rylie are her legacy to us. We wrap ourselves in memories of her – good and bad – daily. These memories have a tendency to wash over me...
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Coffee… A Symbol of Support

Memories are triggered by so many things, but my sense of smell (while somewhat schizophrenic) is a strong trigger for me. Growing up I hated the smell of coffee. I immediately attributed it to being trapped in the car on a road trip with my parents! I use the...
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Reality is Creeping In – Again…

For the last month we’ve lived in a pseudo-reality. We came home, but meals have been delivered every few days, plans were being laid for the celebration, friends and family were visiting. I will always consider ours a family of four, but now the reality of being three is...
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Lessons in Perspective – Ironman Style

Perspective is an amazing thing. Just over a week ago, I completed an Ironman (2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, 26.2 mile run – 140.6 miles in 14h:23m:27s). When I signed up six months ago, I was sure this would be the hardest thing I’d ever do. April 29th...
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Emptiness….

It’s a feeling I expected, but I’m experiencing it in a way that I didn’t expect. I expected to miss her. To think of things I wanted to share with her and not be able to. To open her bedroom door and be surprised when she wasn’t there. I...
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It’s Okay… To Have No Filter

Gifts can come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they even come in the most unlikely packages or places. My cousin’s daughter has one of those unlikely gifts. She has an inability to filter and therefore Rylie, and what happened, are in their family’s conversations all day long. While...
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