“Double R”
For the first few months after Rylie died, I’d often tell people that I was playing pretend. It was easy to pretend she was away at camp. It was easy to pretend she was spending the night with friends. I could make up all sorts of stories. As time...
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The Necklace
Rylie's gift to me Mother's Day 2016. ...
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Trampolines
Twice on my walk recently, I was stopped dead in my tracks. Both times by trampolines. Okay that’s weird, I get it, but it happened. Twice in the same twenty minute walk. The first time there was a little glimmer in the corner of my eye. A quick flash...
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The Sweet Taste of Memories
I remember being at Grandad’s funeral and my mom telling a story of the sounds of Grandad. Grandad was a man of measured words. He often was quiet, but when he spoke everyone listened because it was bound to be a well-thought out response that would leave the rest...
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Sneak Attack from Ry
There are times that Rylie sneaks up on me unexpectedly. I love it when that happens, because I can pretend. I can picture the way that she would sneak up on me if she were still here. I have no doubt that she’d find ways to sneak quietly into...
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What I Didn’t See Coming – Christmas 2017
One of the first lessons you learn when grieving a loss, is to steel yourself for certain significant moments. You plan for the “big days” – like birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries of the death, etc. You learn quickly that the days leading up to the event are often harder than...
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Christmas Ornaments & The Stories They Tell
There’s an ornament on our tree that hangs front and center now. It’s a beautiful glass ornament with Rylie’s face shining through. Surrounding her, the lights of the tree twinkle through the glass and glimmer off the gold sequins that rest inside it. It’s the perfect ornament in so...
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Little Reminders & The “What ifs”
The week before Halloween, I found myself missing Rylie a little more than usual. It was a busy week, so I was more tired than usual. Lack of sleep always affects how I cope, but it was also just a week full of activities that Rylie would have enjoyed. ...
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Six Months Later
Six months ago at about this time, I was having lunch for the last time with Rylie. At that moment, I had no idea that a few short hours from then would be the last time I would ever hear her voice, see her blue eyes glitter at me,...
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“Celebrating” Rylie’s 13th Birthday
There are many things in this world that I don’t understand. Some hit very close to home, while others are so big and worldly that I can’t even begin to fathom them. Thirteen years ago Ziggy and I were given the most amazing gift in the world. We held...
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