Unveiling our Warts

Guilt is powerful.
It is not always rational,
but it can be ever present.

When it is quiet and I think back to April 29th, there is guilt…

Guilt that I was not able to save, or at the very least, protect my daughter. Guilt, that out of all of us in the store, it wasn’t me.

It doesn’t make sense and I know it wasn’t my fault, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

As I’ve shared more about Rylie through this site and through many conversations, I have felt a new bit of guilt. I feel that I may have painted a somewhat distorted picture of Rylie.

Just the other day I was talking to someone about Facebook and how ‘rainbows and unicorns’ it can be. It seems that very few people post their ‘true selves’ on social media. It’s easy to fall into the trap of projecting the perfect image.

Over the last month we’ve talked about and shared the beauty that was Rylie. While this is important, it seems that we have built her up as the model of a perfect child… but let’s be real. She had her faults. Don’t we all?!?

It is true, Rylie wanted to make those around her happy. That doesn’t mean she never hurt people’s feelings. It doesn’t mean she never told a lie. It doesn’t mean that she didn’t embarrass herself. It doesn’t mean that she thought she was perfect.

In fact, all those things have happened – she said the wrong thing, she lied about a candy wrapper, she denied a friend. She never felt perfect – she felt she was far from it.

We’ve shared some of those wart moments – both Rylie’s and our own, as parents – but only with our closest family and friends.

Maybe it’s time to peel that layer back and share wart moments with the world. Can you imagine how powerful it could be if we all stepped back a moment and bared some of our insecurities for others to see?

Perhaps by exposing our warts (not to dwell on them, but instead to recognize that we all have them) we’ll uncover more beauty… Not the fake ‘I have a perfect family’ beauty, but true, kind beauty. The beauty that comes with realistic expectations that we set for both ourselves and our children.

I am choosing to celebrate the beauty underneath those warts, because it is only after recognizing them, that we can truly appreciate each other for who we are.

Sometimes those warts even come in the form of guilt…