Human Touch

Human touch is a powerful thing. It is a universal way to communicate emotion.

I can’t think of a time that I’ve been touched by someone and not known exactly how they feel about me.

I hold on to that belief because right now, it is the way we connect with Rylie most.

We talk with her throughout the day, but I feel closest to her when I’m holding her hand, stroking her face, braiding her hair, or helping our nurses care for her.

There is something soothing about the feel of my skin on hers.

At times, I stand and just hold her hand quietly, stroking my thumb across the top of her wrist.

Sometimes I plant a kiss on that hand while telling her I love her, or just lay my cheek on her warm skin.

Other times, I hold her hand while talking to others in the room.

Regardless of how I hold her hand, it’s knowing that we’re connected that is important. I miss hugging her though.

Yesterday, Tanner ‘hugged’ one of her hands in both of his, while I wrapped my arms around him and Ziggy held her other hand.

This connection, while concrete at that moment, is symbolic of what the last twenty some days has taught us.

We are, and will always be, connected at the core of who we are. However, we will not assume that there will always be one more day to connect meaningfully.

Both Ziggy and I find ourselves reaching out to touch each other, or hold hands, more often. I find myself reaching out to touch those that I love and that are important to me more often. Even Tanner is more apt to let me squeeze him in a shoulder hug or lean in for a real one.

Whether it is a long, unhurried squeeze of a hug, a pat on the arm, or a kiss on the cheek, I want to make sure that I’m connecting with those around me on the most basic level. This is a change that I intend to keep as the days and years go on.

We still have a lot of questions about the future. I know that no matter the outcome, communication through touch will be an important part of it.