The Power of a Phone Call

Not that long ago, I got a surprise phone call from a sweet friend. Not a text. Not a Marco Polo recorded message. An honest-to-goodness phone call. I almost didn’t answer because I’d just gotten home from work and was feeling kind of frazzled, but I did.

That phone call was a gift beyond all imagination. What I loved most about it was my friend’s response when I answered. She was surprised and delighted. She even commented that she figured she’d just end up leaving a voicemail, but she’d decided to chance it anyway.

It got me thinking… How often do I think about picking up the phone to make a call, but end up making a thousand excuses for not making it? The answer: way more often than I care to admit.

I love a friendship that transcends time – one that allows two or more people to pick up where they left off. Whether it’s been six days or six months, some friendships can overlook those time boundaries.

That’s exactly what this friendship is like. It’s a friendship built on common ground – both teachers, both lovers of a good Einstein quote. Both lovers of learning. We’re former coworkers, but we’ve also mentored each other in a variety of spaces in our lives.

As we chatted, filling in some blanks from the last six months or so, time just fell away. We stepped right back into life, into philosophical discussions that didn’t require us to know in intimate detail what had transpired over the previous months. It simply required that we knew each other’s hearts.

We delved into topics that were both thought provoking and encouraging. We covered milestone moments that were shaping our current thoughts and actions. We questioned each other, challenging one another to look at different perspectives. It was beautiful.

This surprise phone call was motivation – a nudge to remind me the gift taking a simple chance can be. Sure I might pick up the phone and have to leave a message, but I might also pick up the phone and get to be both surprised and delighted.

The very next day, I was given the opportunity to put my motivation into practice. I thought of another friend. A friend that while we can go long periods of time without talking, I generally talk to much more frequently. We used to have weekly phone calls to discuss life and faith among other things. Then life got busy and that habit slipped away. Still, we made it a priority to stay connected and at the very least, we send each other texts, but more often Marco Polos.

Yet, here I was making excuses and forgetting the joy I’d received the day before. I kept thinking, “It’s Friday night. I don’t want to bug her on a Friday.”

Really, Meghann? Really?
First of all, here I was on a “Friday Night” and I wasn’t doing much of anything. I’d decided to go out for a run, but it’s not as if I had big plans for the night. Chances are, that my friend was just driving home from work, or relaxing after a long day. Regardless, I’m 99% sure that my call wouldn’t have qualified as “bugging” her. I’m also sure that she wouldn’t have answered the call if she were not able to give me 100% of her attention. That’s just how she is.

So I literally had nothing to worry about. Yet, I didn’t pick up the phone. I could have given us both the gift of connection – of deep and meaningful conversation. Still, I made excuses.

I can’t help but think of the power that a simple phone call could have had, if only I’d let it. If only I’d let go of excuses.

I can’t help but wonder why it’s so much easier to make an excuse than to pick up the phone – especially because I’m sure the excuses take far more energy to maintain.

I wonder if this excuse making tendency is a result judging my self worth. I wonder if it is a tendency to avoid feelings of vulnerability. I wonder if it is just a symptom of being lazy – making an excuse so I don’t have to make a commitment.

I wonder how many other people find themselves in the same situation.

I find it sad that there are times when I let excuses get in the way of true connection. It’s discouraging that I’m willing to hide behind an excuse instead of risking a little vulnerability. It’s infuriating that so many of us think so little of ourselves and what we have to offer others, that we think we are bugging someone with a phone call.

I’m sure my surprise phone call friend could have found herself making these same excuses, but she didn’t. She gave me the gift of friendship. Even though we likely won’t talk for another six months, something will bring us together again and we’ll pick up right where we left off. How lucky am I?