My calendar is filled with minutia. If you look at my appointments or my to do list, it looks like I’m very busy, but… So little of what is on my calendar and lists really matter.
What matters is opportunities to connect. Not to say I’ve had dinner with this many people, been to this many games, taken part in this many meetings or checked this many boxes.
What matters is meaningful connections. Opportunities to talk, to hear, to support, to laugh, to cry, to question, to value insights.
So why is it so easy for me to overlook a moment that could allow me to connect with another person? To get caught up in the busyness of life.
When I do pause for a moment and move away from the excuses, the busyness, or a lack of motivation to “put myself out there”, I’m rewarded.
If I weed through the excuses of an untidy house, unvacuumed floors, grubby clothes, a to do list 100 miles long and worry about taking just 10 minutes to sit on the porch and talk to a friend – I’m rewarded.
The beautiful thing is that my friend doesn’t care if I’m stylish or neatly organized – they just want that moment in time with me too. They appreciate me for me.
Over the last few days, I’ve been talking and thinking about the importance of relationships and connecting with others in a meaningful way. It’s something that I’ve always known is important, something I’ve always said that I value. However, my actions often don’t follow my words and I easily fall into the trap of being too busy, with too many things to do.
I’ve learned that life is too short and time can be fleeting. So I’m working to clear minutia – to call a friend (not text) just to check in. To walk over to a neighbor’s house, ring the doorbell and invite them out for a walk. To bring a cup of coffee to a friend and give them a hug, if for no other reason than to see their face and hear their voice.
I’m done making excuses! I’m done worrying about if I’m going to interrupt or bring a cup of coffee that may or may not be wanted. So if I show up and invite you for a walk or call you randomly – know that it’s okay to shoo me away or send me to voicemail. I’ll be happy to have just had a few seconds with you. If you’re not home, and there’s a cold cup of coffee on your porch – know that it’s symbolic of my desire to simply let you know that you matter to me.
Join me… pause and really look at the person you’re talking to. Ask questions about something someone has shared with you. Skip trying to schedule that coffee date – just ring the doorbell with a cup in your hand, or better yet just ring the doorbell with empty hands and an open heart. Find a way to spend a few minutes connecting with those that you’ve put off for too long.